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Monthly Archives: July 2018

Find a Penfriend

So how does one make the initial contact when there are so few in any correspondence clubs advertised in the newspapers? The most obvious answer to that is to do a Google search of pen friend clubs. I know that may sound contradictory to my earlier statements but some snail mail pen friend clubs have gone online but have still retained a snail mail option. Some safe guards need to be put in place when making any initial contact online and that includes not using an email address in any ads you place or set up a separate email address for the sole purpose of finding a pen pal.

Writing to the editors of overseas newspapers is another way to find some pen friends. Again you can do a Google search to find the addresses of local newspapers in the areas where you would like to make new friends. This can result in some enquiries.

Another option is that you can make the initial contact through dating sites but request in your profile that you are seeking snail mail pen friends. There will be a certain number of people who prefer contact in this way.

I first began writing to pen pals in 1985 after noticing an ad for a pen pal club in a British magazine and ended up subscribing to their contact magazine. Most of the ads in the magazine were from the United Kingdom. I wrote to several who advertised but my biggest responses came when I placed my own ad in the magazine. I got up to around 30 replies from some of the ads I placed and some I clicked with and got around to meeting up with them when I travelled over to the United Kingdom. Other people who have began writing as pen pals ended up being married to them whether that was their intention or not, who knows? It just shows you that a fascinating hobby such as writing to pen pals can have a major impact of where your life goes.

Godly Relationship

1. What does being a Christian mean to you?

2. How important is your faith to you?

3. How important is religion to you?

a. Meaning, how important is being Christian to you?

i. This is different from the second question because I’m talking about labeling yourself as a Christian.

ii. This is important, because if you are proud of labeling yourself as a Christian, than you will be proud to have a “Christian” woman for a girlfriend or wife.

iii. The thing about that is this: Just because someone is a Christian, (labeling themselves as a Christian) doesn’t mean that they are walking closely with God and Jesus.

iv. Also, some people can be judgmental about what church people go to. You should talk to your love interest about the kind of church that he/she goes to, and if it’s different from yours, ask him/her if he/she would ever be willing to change denominations. This can be a “deal-breaker” for certain Christian couples.

b. You have to know where you stand with God, and have an idea of where you are in your walk with God. You should be able to realize to a certain point what God has done for you in your life, and how God can use you to help others. If you are good at explaining your testimony, that part would fit in here.

c. It’s important to know this about yourself, so when you are communicating with a man/woman, and asking him/her where she is in her spiritual walk with God, for you to share what you feel is necessary: To let him/her know the answers to all of the above questions. Let him/her know how important being Christian is to you, and about your walk with God. Let the man/woman know if you are a man/woman of strong faith or not. Don’t exaggerate or lie to try to impress the man/woman. God wants us to share the truth with each other in love. (Ephesians 4:15)

4. What is it that you are looking for in a relationship?

When someone said to me, “A nice Christian lady”, that is similar to what some other Christian men look for in a woman. It’s just that there are a lot of “nice Christian ladies” out there, and you have to separate the strong Christians from the others. Not everyone is at the same point in their spiritual walk with God. You might be further along than the other person, or the other person might be further along with you. Some people in a Christian relationship break up with each other because of that fact. Depending on you and him/her, that fact might not matter. I’m only mentioning this, because some Christians will not go out with other Christians because they feel that the other person is not on their same level of spirituality. It says in the bible that we are to build each other up in Christ. That is the whole point of being in relationships. Just from talking to him/her seeing how he/she acts when he/she’s around you, and the both of you interacting, both of you will form your own opinions of each other. I pray that your personalities match up very well and that you have fun together. Because friends should have fun together, and a successful marriage should be based on a strong friendship. A husband and wife should be best friends. I also hope that you can agree with him/her on certain issues, such as spiritual issues. If you don’t agree on an issue (such as baptism of babies in the church, predestination, or following the Bible literally (some churches stress the importance of women wearing head coverings in church), than you will have to decide if you really care that you and him/her can put your theological differences aside, and if you two can be in a Christian relationship as a boyfriend and girlfriend, and respect each others wishes. I know a certain Christian couple who were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend, and an issue was brought up about one of them switching churches and being baptized in another church. That might be important to you, or to him/her. Maybe he/she just wants to have a Christian partner in his/her life with good morals, and it won’t matter what church he/she goes to. Just keep in mind that usually when two people are married, that they go to the same church, unless the Holy Spirit leads them elsewhere. So it’s important for the both of you to know whether or not to stay in the same church right now, and if one of you would be willing to join the other persons church, or find a different church for the both of you.

You have to separate the conservative Christians from the liberal Christians. That might sound weird, so what I mean by that, is the whole decision making process of a Christian, and each persons morals are different – meaning, some Christians think drinking is OK, and some are completely against it. If you and him/her do not agree on a certain moral issue, it might not be a problem, (just accept and respect each others opinion, and move on to the next issue). But for example, I will not go out with a drinker, a smoker, or someone who uses drugs. I will not make exceptions to that rule. Just stick to your morals, and don’t change them for anyone or anything, unless you feel that it might be the right thing to compromise some of your morals to be with another person. (I just don’t agree with that though, but that’s me, I’m not him/her, I’m not the one considering being in a relationship with you.)

Every woman is different and has her own set of wants or needs. I could send you certain information about what I think Christian people look for in a partner, but those are my own conclusions. I do not know what he/she wants. You might want to ask him/her that. The best piece of advice that I can give you is this:

Using Dating Sites

Profile

Every user needs to complete their profile thoroughly. This will help to find other members that have a particular interest in your lifestyle. A poorly completely profile often comes across as not serious or fake and unlikely to attract the desired attention.

Website

Make sure to invest a little time to shortlist the most promising dating websites that match your particular interests. There are dating sites to match literally every interest, so you shouldn’t have too much difficulty finding something that suits your needs. Also, there are plenty of review and comparison sites that can help to identify the best options.

Activity

There is a high chance that you will need to send plenty of messages before you start to get worthwhile replies that may be worth taking further. Plus, it is important to be patient and avoid sending multiple messages to other members that interest you.

Block Button

Apart from withholding personal information, there are also other ways to stay safe and avoid contact with those you don’t feel comfortable with. Most of the dating sites include a block button that will instantly stop a conversation with someone you deem to be rude, aggressive or inappropriate.

Make Your Long Distance Boyfriend Want You More

Primp yourself up before his departure.

Saying farewell to your lover can be heartbreaking to say the least, but you don’t need to look unkempt and haggard because he’s going miles away from you. To make him feel like staying back instead of leaving, do something about your looks; get a sexy new hairstyle, or go to the beauticians for a facial so your skin glows. Treat yourself to a new wardrobe, some cute new shoes, a sexy dress and a flattering blouse that you look and feel awesome in. Look good for him, even at the airport, as you bid him farewell, let him know exactly who he is leaving behind. Your boyfriend will surely experience a heightened interest in you like never before with your new look and all.

Curb the desire to call him every single day.

Yes, the phone is all that you have that connects you both now and it’s normal to feel propelled to always stay in touch with him. However, you’ll be overdoing things if you call or text him every single minute! Trust me, boys sometimes want their space. So, instead of wanting you more he’ll only get irritated with your constant calls. So, draw back a little bit (it’s all for your good). It’s okay to let his call go to voice-mail once in awhile or delay replying his text. When you wait for a few hours before calling him you’ll get better results. I’m sure he’ll be so excited to hear your voice, why? Because he has really missed you!

Let him know you are having fun.

Do you want to show your heartthrob that he is missing out on a lot? Go out shopping with your girlfriends, go clubbing, to the movies, do something adventurous while your boyfriend is away and be sure to take selfies! Share these pictures with him later, giving him a subtle hint that you are having fun on your own and not moping around. That will get him on his toes if he really loves you. Do that often and your man might just take the next available flight back to you because he wants you so badly.

Make use of social platforms that allows him to see your face.

In today’s world of modern technology, there’s virtually nothing you can’t do on the Internet. This is to your advantage, so make full use of all the communication options that enables you talk to your significant other every single day. To this end, social media platforms like Snapchat and Facebook have proven to be very rewarding. All you need to do is fix a date to talk to each other on any of these platforms, and don’t forget to primp up yourself so you look gorgeous since he’s going to see you!

Don’t make use of jealousy.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with your man, even if it’s a long distanced one, it isn’t advisable to make use of jealousy in order to make your man miss or want you more.