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Category Archives: Relationship

Get a Girl to Text You Back

The whole idea when you send her a text should be to get some kind of response. Girls are different from guys because they are using texting as their main source of communication with their friends and family.

They are texting all the time, so it comes naturally for them to text with you too. You are probably just a friend, at least that is where you are right now but you need to move from text buddy to boyfriend. It is not easy unless you read my text flirting tips below.

There are 3 basic rules to get a girl to text you back:

1. Ask questions. Do not be afraid of asking her questions. Before you begin asking her questions though, you should introduce yourself first. If you want to start your texting slow a nice How are you? will work just fine.

2. Entertain her. Girls get tired a lot earlier than guys, so if you want to ask her out on a date, one of the key elements that will grant you success is that you will stand out from the rest of the competition, which in this case means other guys because if you can make her laugh, that will make her comfortable and she will be more inclined to accept your request. Crack a joke to make her laugh. If you can not think of one when you text her, find one on the Internet.

3. Make her interested in you. Tell her something that happened at the night where you met each other for the first time. If it’s a mutual experience, it’s even better!

There are things you should avoid though when you text her. Don’t be texting her and call her sweetie, honey or some other pet name too early. You will come across as needy and she will run the other way.

Using explicit language is not okay either. Some guys think it is a way of showing her that they are not interested to just be friends. This will make her run the other way too unless you have been intimate already.

Another tip: No pictures of your private parts either or you can end up on a different kind of “date”, the one that includes a lawyer and a judge.

Ambiguous language is fine after a while. I recommend that you wait for a while, at least until you have made it clear that you are not interested in her as a friend and also so you do not seem to eager or a complete jerk.

Mixing some more serious questions and adding some humor too works wonders. You should strive for being perceived as trustworthy and serious yet with a great sense of humor in order to get her out on a date.

Another thing as you might have noticed when you read through this article: I do not use any abbreviations at all and I am very keen on using proper English grammar. The same applies to texting. Do make use of your knowledge of English grammar and avoid contractions too.

Patience is key but if you don’t take action, she will get tired of you and you will become reduced to her “text buddy”. Acting to “cool” can also be devastating.

About Single and Waiting

I want to make a suggestion that perhaps this man is chosen for us by God and this chosen King will come when the Queen is really and truly ready. Just because we are tired of the single life, we feel like we are ready to settle down, we are in love or have met the man of our dreams does not mean we are ready for the purpose that God intends us to execute as a match for His chosen Boaz. We need to be open and ready to receive this man, emotionally healthy so that we have something to offer. Here are a few things to consider while waiting for your future hubby to arrive:

#1 Stop blaming him for not being able to fulfill your need to get married just because you feel you are ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason that you are waiting is because you are not as ready as you think.

#2 Dig deep. Take a look at yourself and ask if there is anything that you can work on to make yourself the very best you there is to offer. Are there any childhood troubles that haunt you or hold you back? Are there secrets that you have never discussed that have negatively shaped you into who you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn’t? What about past relationships that you still hold resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face any demons or excess baggage that you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This will not be easy, but God is watching, and sometimes He won’t allow you to move forward because He needs you to drop some things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play paired with your husband and your purpose. Your marital stagnation may not be Boaz’s fault at all. Your future hubby is going to need a helpmate not a patient.

#3 Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of the song “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube it. It’s quite deep and the message is clear. The bag lady portrayed in the song isn’t carrying physical baggage but the emotional kind. She states “Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus, you can’t hurry up, cuz you got too much stuff”, “one day, he gon’ say you crowding my space”. The lyrics elude to the fact that carrying too much baggage will delay life progress, slow you down from establishing successful relationships. It can get in the way of a current relationship, creating doubt by your mate that there is enough room for him along with your emotional baggage. Spend this time of waiting, reflecting and challenging yourself to learn more about you and face the tough stuff BEFORE you bind your man into marriage.

#4 It doesn’t have to be that deep. If in review of yourself your findings say that you are not emotionally challenged but yet Boaz is still not here, then use the time to check off a few bucket list items. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and amaze yourself about what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.

#5 Last but not least Volunteer! Often times when you take the focus off of what you don’t have and put it into helping others, God will begin to answer your needs (this is how I met my husband).

Stay Connected in LDR

While you’re apart take the time and make the effort to communicate at least once a day, more often if you can. You can maintain an emotional connection with communication that is brief and frequent. They don’t have to be long, in-depth heart-to-heart conversations but can be short text messages about your day, asking advice or just telling your partner that you are thinking about them.

Let’s not be stalkish or smothering about it though. Calling or texting every hour, waking them up before the alarm clock or ordering pizza to be sent to their place for dinner at night is a bit much. Instead, aim for substantial and detailed communications about your thoughts, asking questions, asking advice or telling about what happened to you that day.

But, let’s face it. After a bit, text messages and phone calls can get tedious. So break the mold and make a video for your partner. Use your phone to tape yourself driving to work, while the phone is in the passenger seat aimed at you. Chat with the phone like your partner is sitting in the seat next to you.

Write a love letter. The art of snail mail is failing in our society today. And yet, there is something so much more personal and loving about a piece of paper held in your hand. Write a thank you note to your partner for listening to you while you ranted about your boss. Or write an invitation to your next rendezvous.

Try to visit each other as often as possible. Long distance can mean a 30 minute trip or a 10 hour trip. Online dating has made meeting people from across the country easier than ever. Before this you had to actually get in the car and drive somewhere to see the Rocky Mountains and meet a cowboy! Schedule as much time together as you can and spend it with other people. We live in community and when you spend it together with other people, you actually get to know each other better.

Alternate who does the traveling. It might be easier for one of you to travel than the other, but it’s important that you both put in the effort to see each other. Otherwise the one doing all the traveling may grow to resent the one not traveling. If you can both get away, try meeting somewhere in the middle occasionally. You won’t be able to spend time with friends, but it’s a nice way to disconnect from everyday life and connect with your partner. Just don’t let it be the only way you meet, or your understanding of life together will be seen through rose colored glasses.

Singles Try Speed Dating

To experience dates in different venues

The next reason why individuals try speed dating is to experience dates in different venues. Surely, organizing a date can be a hard task since you need to look for romantic venues. Luckily, speed dating organizers can provide you with numerous venues for your dates which can make your first meetup memorable.

To reduce expenses in dating

Apart from different venues, organizers of such date events can also help reduce expenses. Surely, when dating, you need to look for the best locations. And, you also need to make sure that you can obtain the best foods and drinks. Apparently, some individuals do not want to spend substantial finances in organizing a date with a stranger. By opting for dating systems, individuals can reduce their expenses easily and properly without compromising their date.

To avoid rejection

This type of dating solutions can also help avoid the feeling of rejection. There are instances when dates can turn into a nightmare most especially if you are rejected. Thankfully, this can be immediately avoided since you can look for other dates from a huge list from reliable dating systems and providers.

To improve social life

Finally, this dating can also help improve your social life. Some individuals opt for such events in order to look and meet new friends. And, this is one of the most ideal place to meet new friends which will allow them to increase their social experience.

How to Kiss Perfect

1. Be Clear of Your Intentions

First and foremost, it is crucial that you make very clear your intentions when it comes to where the kiss is leading, especially when you are with your significant other. It is quite easy to give the wrong impressions when you kiss someone. So, if you are waiting for a kiss from whoever you are with, there are a few clues that you can give to make the signal clearer. For example, when you are talking with them, begin to focus on their lips ever so slightly. The most effective way to do this is to look down at them every once in a while in the middle of the conversation that you are having. Another subtle hint to give your significant other is to lean in toward them slowly as you are talking. If your partner, or date, begins to lean in toward you as well, you will know that all systems are go for you to take the leap and give them a smooch.

2. Soft and Slow

Have you ever been on a date with someone, and your first kiss with them was aggressive, or just plain stiff? If you have, then this, of course, is a big no-no, right? Being too aggressive or stiff with your kissing can make things very awkward. So, when you lean in for the kiss, start off soft and slow. There is no need to get hot and heavy right away. Playing it slowly can intensify the passion between the two of you, and it will become clear if there is real chemistry between you or not.

3. Meet Them Halfway

Have you heard of the concept of going a small percentage of the way into the kiss, say 10 percent, and making your partner come the rest of the way? This has been played out in movies and shows for as long as we can remember, but it is totally true! When you are kissing your significant other, or date, you should only lean in about 50 percent of the way (sometimes less), and let your partner come the rest of the way into the kiss. Even if you feel as though you are the dominant person in the relationship, it may be time for you to hold back and let the passion make its way to you.

Assess a Long Distance Relationship

The Challenges

If you are an insecure, anxious, needy or jealous person, then a long distance relationship is likely not for you. Until you learn to love yourself enough to not worry about what your partner is doing, and to take loving care of your own feelings, it will likely be very stressful for you.

If you are an extroverted person who regenerates with your partner and with others, not seeing your partner on a daily basis might be very hard for you, especially if you are a stay-at-home parent or you work at a job where you don’t have much interaction with others.

If you are a working mother or father, or you have a number of young children, it may be quite challenging for you to not have the help of your partner.

If consistent, daily in-person connection and affection is important to you, then a long distance lifestyle would not work well for you.

The Positives

If you are a more introverted person who needs a lot of time alone to regenerate, it might work well for you to not be with a partner on a daily basis.

If you or your partner are both very busy, achievement-oriented people, getting together on weekends or even once a month for a weekend might be a lifestyle that works for you.

If both you and your partner love your time alone, then a long distance relationship might be ideal for you.

If the two of you love each other but you often trigger each other in ways that lead to distance or conflict, then not seeing each other as much might be just the thing that saves your relationship.

If you love to travel and you are a very social person who makes friends wherever you go, and your partner is a quieter stay-at-home person, you might find that you each get your needs met through a long distance relationship.

If you tend to be a person who gives yourself up a lot and has a fear of engulfment, you might feel much safer in a long distance relationship.

Sometimes people who live in different cities meet one another and thoroughly enjoy their relationship – as long as they live apart. But fears of engulfment might get triggered if they make plans to live together.

Find a Penfriend

So how does one make the initial contact when there are so few in any correspondence clubs advertised in the newspapers? The most obvious answer to that is to do a Google search of pen friend clubs. I know that may sound contradictory to my earlier statements but some snail mail pen friend clubs have gone online but have still retained a snail mail option. Some safe guards need to be put in place when making any initial contact online and that includes not using an email address in any ads you place or set up a separate email address for the sole purpose of finding a pen pal.

Writing to the editors of overseas newspapers is another way to find some pen friends. Again you can do a Google search to find the addresses of local newspapers in the areas where you would like to make new friends. This can result in some enquiries.

Another option is that you can make the initial contact through dating sites but request in your profile that you are seeking snail mail pen friends. There will be a certain number of people who prefer contact in this way.

I first began writing to pen pals in 1985 after noticing an ad for a pen pal club in a British magazine and ended up subscribing to their contact magazine. Most of the ads in the magazine were from the United Kingdom. I wrote to several who advertised but my biggest responses came when I placed my own ad in the magazine. I got up to around 30 replies from some of the ads I placed and some I clicked with and got around to meeting up with them when I travelled over to the United Kingdom. Other people who have began writing as pen pals ended up being married to them whether that was their intention or not, who knows? It just shows you that a fascinating hobby such as writing to pen pals can have a major impact of where your life goes.

Godly Relationship

1. What does being a Christian mean to you?

2. How important is your faith to you?

3. How important is religion to you?

a. Meaning, how important is being Christian to you?

i. This is different from the second question because I’m talking about labeling yourself as a Christian.

ii. This is important, because if you are proud of labeling yourself as a Christian, than you will be proud to have a “Christian” woman for a girlfriend or wife.

iii. The thing about that is this: Just because someone is a Christian, (labeling themselves as a Christian) doesn’t mean that they are walking closely with God and Jesus.

iv. Also, some people can be judgmental about what church people go to. You should talk to your love interest about the kind of church that he/she goes to, and if it’s different from yours, ask him/her if he/she would ever be willing to change denominations. This can be a “deal-breaker” for certain Christian couples.

b. You have to know where you stand with God, and have an idea of where you are in your walk with God. You should be able to realize to a certain point what God has done for you in your life, and how God can use you to help others. If you are good at explaining your testimony, that part would fit in here.

c. It’s important to know this about yourself, so when you are communicating with a man/woman, and asking him/her where she is in her spiritual walk with God, for you to share what you feel is necessary: To let him/her know the answers to all of the above questions. Let him/her know how important being Christian is to you, and about your walk with God. Let the man/woman know if you are a man/woman of strong faith or not. Don’t exaggerate or lie to try to impress the man/woman. God wants us to share the truth with each other in love. (Ephesians 4:15)

4. What is it that you are looking for in a relationship?

When someone said to me, “A nice Christian lady”, that is similar to what some other Christian men look for in a woman. It’s just that there are a lot of “nice Christian ladies” out there, and you have to separate the strong Christians from the others. Not everyone is at the same point in their spiritual walk with God. You might be further along than the other person, or the other person might be further along with you. Some people in a Christian relationship break up with each other because of that fact. Depending on you and him/her, that fact might not matter. I’m only mentioning this, because some Christians will not go out with other Christians because they feel that the other person is not on their same level of spirituality. It says in the bible that we are to build each other up in Christ. That is the whole point of being in relationships. Just from talking to him/her seeing how he/she acts when he/she’s around you, and the both of you interacting, both of you will form your own opinions of each other. I pray that your personalities match up very well and that you have fun together. Because friends should have fun together, and a successful marriage should be based on a strong friendship. A husband and wife should be best friends. I also hope that you can agree with him/her on certain issues, such as spiritual issues. If you don’t agree on an issue (such as baptism of babies in the church, predestination, or following the Bible literally (some churches stress the importance of women wearing head coverings in church), than you will have to decide if you really care that you and him/her can put your theological differences aside, and if you two can be in a Christian relationship as a boyfriend and girlfriend, and respect each others wishes. I know a certain Christian couple who were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend, and an issue was brought up about one of them switching churches and being baptized in another church. That might be important to you, or to him/her. Maybe he/she just wants to have a Christian partner in his/her life with good morals, and it won’t matter what church he/she goes to. Just keep in mind that usually when two people are married, that they go to the same church, unless the Holy Spirit leads them elsewhere. So it’s important for the both of you to know whether or not to stay in the same church right now, and if one of you would be willing to join the other persons church, or find a different church for the both of you.

You have to separate the conservative Christians from the liberal Christians. That might sound weird, so what I mean by that, is the whole decision making process of a Christian, and each persons morals are different – meaning, some Christians think drinking is OK, and some are completely against it. If you and him/her do not agree on a certain moral issue, it might not be a problem, (just accept and respect each others opinion, and move on to the next issue). But for example, I will not go out with a drinker, a smoker, or someone who uses drugs. I will not make exceptions to that rule. Just stick to your morals, and don’t change them for anyone or anything, unless you feel that it might be the right thing to compromise some of your morals to be with another person. (I just don’t agree with that though, but that’s me, I’m not him/her, I’m not the one considering being in a relationship with you.)

Every woman is different and has her own set of wants or needs. I could send you certain information about what I think Christian people look for in a partner, but those are my own conclusions. I do not know what he/she wants. You might want to ask him/her that. The best piece of advice that I can give you is this:

Using Dating Sites

Profile

Every user needs to complete their profile thoroughly. This will help to find other members that have a particular interest in your lifestyle. A poorly completely profile often comes across as not serious or fake and unlikely to attract the desired attention.

Website

Make sure to invest a little time to shortlist the most promising dating websites that match your particular interests. There are dating sites to match literally every interest, so you shouldn’t have too much difficulty finding something that suits your needs. Also, there are plenty of review and comparison sites that can help to identify the best options.

Activity

There is a high chance that you will need to send plenty of messages before you start to get worthwhile replies that may be worth taking further. Plus, it is important to be patient and avoid sending multiple messages to other members that interest you.

Block Button

Apart from withholding personal information, there are also other ways to stay safe and avoid contact with those you don’t feel comfortable with. Most of the dating sites include a block button that will instantly stop a conversation with someone you deem to be rude, aggressive or inappropriate.

Make Your Long Distance Boyfriend Want You More

Primp yourself up before his departure.

Saying farewell to your lover can be heartbreaking to say the least, but you don’t need to look unkempt and haggard because he’s going miles away from you. To make him feel like staying back instead of leaving, do something about your looks; get a sexy new hairstyle, or go to the beauticians for a facial so your skin glows. Treat yourself to a new wardrobe, some cute new shoes, a sexy dress and a flattering blouse that you look and feel awesome in. Look good for him, even at the airport, as you bid him farewell, let him know exactly who he is leaving behind. Your boyfriend will surely experience a heightened interest in you like never before with your new look and all.

Curb the desire to call him every single day.

Yes, the phone is all that you have that connects you both now and it’s normal to feel propelled to always stay in touch with him. However, you’ll be overdoing things if you call or text him every single minute! Trust me, boys sometimes want their space. So, instead of wanting you more he’ll only get irritated with your constant calls. So, draw back a little bit (it’s all for your good). It’s okay to let his call go to voice-mail once in awhile or delay replying his text. When you wait for a few hours before calling him you’ll get better results. I’m sure he’ll be so excited to hear your voice, why? Because he has really missed you!

Let him know you are having fun.

Do you want to show your heartthrob that he is missing out on a lot? Go out shopping with your girlfriends, go clubbing, to the movies, do something adventurous while your boyfriend is away and be sure to take selfies! Share these pictures with him later, giving him a subtle hint that you are having fun on your own and not moping around. That will get him on his toes if he really loves you. Do that often and your man might just take the next available flight back to you because he wants you so badly.

Make use of social platforms that allows him to see your face.

In today’s world of modern technology, there’s virtually nothing you can’t do on the Internet. This is to your advantage, so make full use of all the communication options that enables you talk to your significant other every single day. To this end, social media platforms like Snapchat and Facebook have proven to be very rewarding. All you need to do is fix a date to talk to each other on any of these platforms, and don’t forget to primp up yourself so you look gorgeous since he’s going to see you!

Don’t make use of jealousy.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with your man, even if it’s a long distanced one, it isn’t advisable to make use of jealousy in order to make your man miss or want you more.